Some few years back when my poor car was stolen, I had to take public transportation for almost 9 months. This is thanks to the super efficient and consumer friendly insurance companies that took almost no time to assess the damage and pay me the sum insured so that I can stop repaying the bank loan even after the car was stolen. Thanks to their super efficient working attitude, I was finally fairly compensated at a value that left me nothing after repaying the outstanding bank loan.
During that 9 months, I relied on the Light Rail Transit, Bus, Taxi and the company provided van that ferries people from the LRT station to the office. Those were the times when I listened to the most number of Mahler CDs ever and read a lot of novels like I have never been before, and especially happy that I actually read “The Brothers Karamazov” but had no luck at all with “War and Peace”.
Last weekend, due to certain reasons, I had to walk from Mid Valley Megamall to the Japan Club for the Weiqi session and while walking I looked into one of the public busses that passed by. I looked into it and saw many faces, mostly expressionless. This reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend (“world without pangs”) during the time when I had to rely on the public transport.
When I had a car and lived in my own world, I have never thought of how those people that takes public transportation feel. What is in their mind? What are they thinking? They are so quiet, so isolated and seemed to always be thinking of something, in their own world.
Then, suddenly, I am one of them. Standing by the roadside, waiting. Isolated. Listening to the discman perhaps. But what am I thinking? Particularly nothing. I simply exist and waiting for something. Life is like a river. It flows and wait for no one. There I am in this flow, nothing particular in mind. No schemes. Just perhaps recalling how the girl smiled that morning or how annoying Mr. X was and how I wish he will fall of the stairs or perhaps thinking of what there is for dinner.
But in general, I am not purposefully thinking of anything at all. I just follow the flow of life, taking me from one moment to another moment. From one disconnected thought to another disconnected thought.
Now, that day, when I looked into the bus and saw those blank faces, I understand. They are not really thinking of anything in particular but just following the flow of life, living from one moment to another, with disconnected thoughts popping up in their mind and perhaps, deep inside, they are only hoping to make ends meet.